James 4
What Happens When We Don't Get Our Way? Reflections on James 4
In James 4 there's a question that jumps out at us right from the beginning: What causes fights and quarrels among you? This is the kind of question that hits us right where we live, because let's be honest—who hasn’t felt frustration, impatience, or even anger when things don’t go our way? But the bigger question that James presents is: how do we handle those moments? What do our reactions reveal about us?
James doesn’t leave us to guess; he offers a clear answer. The quarrels and conflicts, he says, stem from the desires that battle within us. We want things, but we can’t have them, and that struggle spills over into how we treat those around us. We fight because we’re not getting what we want, and sometimes, we lash out in ways that harm ourselves and others. And then we pray—but James reminds us that even our prayers can be tainted by selfish motives. When we pray for things, it's often to satisfy our own pleasures, not to align with God's will. This is a harsh but necessary truth for us to wrestle with.
The Battle Within
To understand what’s going on here, we need to recognize that James isn’t just talking about external conflicts; he’s addressing the internal battle we all face. Inside us, there’s a tug-of-war between what we want and what God desires for us. This “battle within” is a common human experience, and it’s illustrated well in the movie Inside Out. In that movie, the emotions of a young girl—joy, sadness, anger, fear, and envy—compete for control of her actions. In the same way, we have competing desires within us that shape how we respond to circumstances. The question is: which desires will we give in to?
Here’s a simple yet biblical framework for our battle within:
God created us with good desires (Genesis 1-2)
Sin perverted those desires (Genesis 3)
Desire gives birth to temptation and temptation gives birth to sin (James 1 & 4)
The remedy? Continue reading James 4:7-8!
James doesn’t sugarcoat the issue—he acknowledges that these desires can lead us to act in ways that are destructive. Our selfish ambitions, envy, and bitterness cause us to quarrel with others. If we’re not careful, these internal battles will spill over into our relationships, whether at work, in our homes, or even within the church. So what’s the solution?
The Way Forward: Submission and Alignment
The good news is that James doesn't leave us stuck in this cycle of selfishness. In James 4:7-8, we find the way forward: Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God, and he will come near to you. This is the heart of the matter. The path to peace begins with submission—surrendering our desires to God and allowing Him to realign our hearts with His. This isn’t a one-time act; it’s a daily choice to place ourselves under God’s authority. If you’ve been around Emmanuel you’ve heard the familiar phrase “re-evanglism” or “re-tell yourself the gospel!” We’re called to moment by moment remember, celebrate and worship Christ crucified, resurrected and enthroned!
Submitting ourselves to God means acknowledging that He is the Creator, that He knows what is best for us, and that His ways are higher than our ways. When we submit to God, we also resist the devil and his temptation to lead us down paths of selfishness and strife. But it’s not just about resisting the negative forces in our lives; it’s about drawing near to God, seeking His presence, and inviting His influence into every area of our lives.
Re-aligning Our Prayers and Desires
When we’re in this posture of submission, it affects the way we pray. James reminds us that we don’t always receive what we ask for because we ask with wrong motives. But when we approach God with a heart that desires His will more than our own, our prayers take on a new quality. Instead of focusing on our own desires, we begin to pray for alignment with God's purposes. We pray with humility, seeking God’s will above our own, and trusting that He knows what we need far better than we do.
This process of heart realignment is not just day to day but moment by moment. As we look at our lives, we must ask ourselves: Are we submitting to God in our day-to-day choices? Are we seeking His kingdom and His will above our own? This is the essence of the Christian life—choosing to live according to God’s purposes and not our own fleeting desires.
Practical Application: Holy Habits and Daily Surrender
We don’t always feel motivated to submit to God. Let’s be real—there are days when we’re not feeling it. It’s often in the practice of discipline that our motivation begins to follow. Just like a New Year’s resolution to get in shape, our initial enthusiasm may fade, but it’s the daily habits—those holy habits—that keep us moving forward. The more we position ourselves near to Jesus through daily prayer, worship, and surrender, the more we begin to align with His heart.
This is where we need to develop holy habits—daily practices that remind us to submit our will to God and seek His presence. It might be as simple as beginning each day with a prayer of submission: "God, I don’t know what today holds, but I trust You with it. I give You my day, my desires, my plans."
Over time, these daily acts of surrender create a momentum that keeps us rooted in God’s will, even when our emotions or circumstances try to pull us away. And as we draw near to God, we can be confident that He will draw near to us, strengthening us for whatever lies ahead.
Conclusion: The Battle is Won in Submission
So, as we reflect on James 4, let’s ask ourselves: How do we react when we don’t get our way? Are we quick to quarrel, complain, or lash out, or do we respond with humility, submitting to God’s plan? The battle within us is real, but through submission, prayer, and a heart aligned with God, we can begin to break the cycles of conflict and selfish desire. By drawing near to God daily, we invite His peace and His presence to guide us in all things.
Let’s commit to surrendering our desires to Him and seeking His will above all else. As we do, we will experience the transformation He promises and the peace that only He can give.
